BILD Exclusive – Charlie Sheen: „My mind just caved in on itself“

He has been through hell and back. And dragged some of his surroundings down with him. Charlie Sheen (53, „Two and a Half Men“) is well-aware of that. He is Hollywoods fallen star. But he is ready to rise back up.

Charlie Sheen is in Germany for German Comic Con. A unique chance for fans to be close to their favorite celebrities – and a unique chance for celebrities to make a lot of money in one weekend.

Charlie Sheen is by far the most demanded star in Dortmund. After two days of posing for thousands of photos and signing hundreds of autographs, he is ready for his only interview. Sheen smells like a freshly smoked cigarette. The only addiction that still remains. „Let’s talk, he says.

BILD: It’s quite remarkable that despite of everything that happened, the love for you never stopped. How does that feel?

Charlie Sheen: „No, it didn’t and I am very thankful. It’s refreshing. Every time I go shopping or to the gas station, there’s always someone there, there’s always a messenger of nothing but love. Despite of everything I have done. And it’s not one particular group, I don’t have a demographic. Little children, older people, every ethnicity. And they all make me feel like it’s gonna be okay. Everything’s cool. It’s kind of a trip. It’s very helpful. It’s also inspiring. But I wasn’t able to experience it first hand, because I was always on a soundstage or on a set, kind of shut off.“

BILD: You look really good, well rested. You are treating yourself better, right?

Sheen: „I have been given this chunk of time to get back in touch with things that matter: my health and my family. I go to sleep by 9pm most nights and get up super early. I work out, watch TV and have a relatively normal everyday life.”

BILD: What was wrong with you?

Sheen: „I don’t know what happened with all that other shit, man. I kind of remember it, and I kind of don’t. My mind just kind of caved in on itself, you know? And the timing of that was really shitty. Not just for me, but for al lot of other people. And that’s not lost on me. I’m not proud of any of that stuff. Not doing that again. But I stay optimistic. And I really am feeling better.“

2011: Charlie Sheen drinking the infamous „tiger blood“ on a rooftop terrace in Beverly Hills

2011: Charlie Sheen drinking the infamous „tiger blood“ on a rooftop terrace in Beverly Hills Foto: WireImage/Getty Images

BILD: Sometimes habits are the only thing that feel familiar, although they might harm us. At what point of your life did you say: „That’s it, I am changing teams“?

Sheen: „I haven’t done drugs for a long time, but the drinking was really the problem, my habit. I realized that there was a whole infrastructure that had to be carved out and maintained because of the alcohol. And that’s exhausting. I quit in the past, and successfully, but it was because I was led there by others, and I was kind of forced into it, so I never owned it. One day I couldn’t drive my daughter and a good friend had to interrupt their day to drive her. I got home that night and thought: ‘How do we get free from the hassle that the booze was bringing?’ And I decided to give it a month to see how I feel. That was in December 2017. And I just kept going.“

BILD: It must have been hard to open that new chapter. What did you do to stay sober?

Sheen: „People often ask: ‘ Do you miss the partying?’ No, no, you miss partying with me. I never had any fun, even if it looked like fun. The chaos afterwards was terrible. I was always picking up the tab, cleaning up the mess or just managing the chaos. It was exhausting. It’s about realizing how great it is that you can manage without getting hammered. I just starting doing stuff without drinking. And everything went fine. Everybody got home safely. Nobody got hurt. Nobody got arrested. I know some people will read this and think, it’s just a matter of time until he relapses. I understand, that’s fine. I guess time will show, that I got it this time.“

BILD: In 2015 you talked openly about your HIV status. How is the health?

Sheen: „It’s good. I got this thing, yeah. And it will be with me for the better part of my life. Yeah, drew a short straw on that one. I might have handled it wrong at times. Until I realized that people affected are really lucky having the technology and medicine today, because so many before us didn’t. We have to honor that truth. I don’t look at is at a death sentence. Will there be a cure? Who knows? Anything is possible. It doesn’t keep me hundled in the dark anymore, weeping, writing really bad poetry. It’s something I found a way to manage. If I can help others, without being the poster child for it, then by all means.”

BILD: Are you planning on getting back in front of the camera?

Sheen: „I don’t plan on not working forever. I am more than ready to go back to work. I just don’t want to do the crap that’s being sent to me. It’s just garbage. Films I wouldn’t even watch, much less want to be in. When the right job does show up, there going to get a version of me that’s super focused and really excited to get back to work and delivering just a renewed version of myself.“

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