Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are back after 17 years of separation. The news continues to cause a stir in the entertainment world. However, they are neither the first nor the last couple to resume their relationship after a prolonged time of separation. We see it on television, in movies, and in anonymous couples. The question is why they return.
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The psychotherapist of the International Clinic, Liliana Tuñoque, explains that this situation occurs mainly for two reasons. The first is because love never left, and the second because of a theme of emotional dependence. “Each couple is different and you have to take into account the time of the relationship and the level of commitment. Some return because the feelings never left and in other cases because it is difficult for them to detach emotionally “he adds.
Returning depends on reason for separation. If it was due to economic, time or distance issues, they could overcome those impasses and give themselves a new sincere and genuine opportunity, “But if they ended badly, for example, due to an infidelity, it is better to leave things as they are”, suggests the expert. If there is something that we must be clear about, it is that there are doors that do not deserve to be opened again, let’s be smart and better lock them.
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If you decide to resume the relationship, it is to avoid making the same mistakes again, to take a step forward and repair everything that was wrong.
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At the beginning of the courtship, talk about the ex-partners it tends to occur frequently because both parties are interested in that information. Complications arise when he begins to say phrases such as: ‘Here I celebrated my anniversary with my previous girlfriend’, ‘she liked these roses’ and other things that raise suspicions that something is wrong. With this attitude, he warns the psychotherapist Virginia Arroyo Guadalupe, only the new one is being boycotted love story.
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The expert indicates that you partner can talk a lot about his ex because he wants to test you to measure your tolerance level and check whether or not you are jealous, or because you actually have a nice memory of that person and truly esteem them.
However, there is also the possibility (and this is the worst) that you are still ‘hooked’ on your past.
If your heartthrob constantly talks about his ex-girlfriend and can’t stop remembering things about her then:
♦ Talk to him and tell him how it is affecting you to talk about that person. Don’t make it upset or yelling. It is not about generating a fight, but about finding a solution.
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♦Do not blame yourself or think that you are not doing enough so that she can forget about it. The problem is with him.
♦ Both go to psychological therapy, it will be a great help.
♦If you feel that he does not change, you must decide whether or not to continue with the relationship. Remember that your mental health and emotional stability come before everything.