Yesterday Grandma would have been 94 years old. And always on her birthday we light a candle for her in our family. Every man for himself. So some candles come together. She loved candles, she loved Christmas, she loved little New Year celebrations. And not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I could write a book about my grandmother because she was both a mother and a grandmother.
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From overweight chain smoker to marathon runner – a success story
A soul mate
I grew up with my grandparents for the first few years of my life. In addition to all the things that she gave me on my journey through life, grandma had a special gift: she could always guess and see what I needed. She could empathize with me. No words were needed for this. We understood each other blindly. We often just hugged each other because we knew: this is what is needed right now. It was indeed soul mates.
Empathy is probably the most valuable thing she taught me. This was the only way she could see very early on that the boy had to be let go. Hour after hour, as soon as I could walk, I ran up and down the long hallway of the very large apartment. At first grandmother worried about me because at the end of the hall in the kitchen turning, I had to lift my feet over a high threshold. That mostly worked. Except once.
I miss her way of letting me go
The misstep resulted in a large scar on his forehead, which is still visible to this day, albeit much faded. Unfortunately, the pain of losing my grandmother is not fading quickly. I miss her way too much and her ability to let me go. The hallway in the apartment quickly became too small for me. The woods and roads became the new “running track” and grandmother encouraged me to keep running.
It was always like that, it was always granted to her. She loved to run, but she rarely had the time. She always had other things to do, she was always responsible for the whole family. When she ran, she ran through the forest. This was her energy force field. When other mothers and grandmothers warned their children and grandchildren not to stray too far from home, she simply said nothing. It must have been incredibly difficult for her. Because she was a very caring person. She completely withdrew herself and her worries so as not to take away my freedom, my urge to move. I will never forget this form of greatness.
“Let’s run again, please”
I remember one of the last moments with grandmother. She was already feeling very bad. And we all knew that she wouldn’t be with us for much longer. After a visit to her favorite restaurant, she raked in my arm. “Let’s walk again, please.” She whispered. “It’s up the hill, grandma. It’s 200 meters. Are you sure?” I asked.
She did not say anything. She went. As so often, it didn’t always take words between us. We had to stop and take a break several times. When I got to the car, Grandma collapsed in my arms. “Oh, that was exhausting. But we ran together. If only a little bit. What good did that do. That was important to me now. And if it’s the last time,” she said happily. It was the last time. Four months later, grandmother died peacefully. With a smile on your face. Since then, I have dedicated the first 200 meters of every run to my grandmother. So no run goes by without them. I am grateful to her for every step and for everything she gave me. That’s how it works.
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