of love and friends

it’s day of Picnic!It’s a day to talk for a while, you and I, about life issues, those others that make life so beautiful, even when it’s hard and capricious. I have thought a lot about friendshipafter finishing a book that is the story of a great friendship between two children-young-adults (Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow by Gabriella Zevin). And after reading this very good note (Why the end of friendship hurts as much or more than the end of love), about the film that has already been released in Uruguay and is competing for nine Oscar nominations: the spirits of the islandby Martin McDonagh, the story of a friendship that is everything and ends in nothing.

“That duel, the end of friendship, is one that is usually swept under the rug as if nothing happened when in most cases those friendships that end are relationships that are even longer than those of a couple. And they can hurt more”, writes Emanuel Bremermann in that note. He is right and today I propose you to take an inventory of your friends, an inventory of what you have taken care of (or neglected) in those relationships and, perhaps, an inventory of duels that you never allowed to hurt.

Sometimes we think that friends are important in childhood and adolescence, and it is true that friends from then that last are usually special because they have known us forever. But we tend to forget the importance of make friends when we are adults and very adults (and keeping them), something that requires much more initiative than when we are children and that also makes us more “scared”, because we are aware of potential rejections and frustrations. “Remember that people are more likely to like you than you think,” says Marisa Franco in a note published by the New York Times. She is a psychologist who studies friendship and in 2002 she wrote the book “Platonic: how the science of attachment can help you make and keep friends (no Spanish translation at the moment).

While you read these lines I will be having lunch with two dear friends who knew me as an adult (or almost), and who always give me joy. Life is much more beautiful with friends to celebrate and experience. Always. I am Carina Novarese, I would like to know how you take care of your friends and I will read you if you answer this email. I wish you a good week, from friend to friend, because that’s how I feel you through Picnic!