Singles have become more discerning

Are you newly single or have you been dating for a long time, but struggling to find the right one? Then you might be curious about which dating trends are the hottest right now.

The dating app “Happn”, one of the world’s most downloaded dating apps, has, in collaboration with the trend and consulting agency NellyRodi, analyzed singles’ preferences, attitudes and behaviour.

1765 Norwegian users of the dating app have taken part in a large survey. The result of the analysis and survey shows three major and important dating trends for this year.

List of criteria

Dating expert Simone Quist Mathiesen in Happn sees clear trends crystallizing.

– People no longer want it to be up to chance, they would rather plan and set concrete goals for dating and potential partners, says Mathiesen.

32 percent of those who responded to the survey state that they are more open about their expectations – already on the first date.

– The expectations are also more defined. Many have lists of actual concrete criteria, which they are not embarrassed to share, says the dating expert.

Tougher and more honest

Dating advisor and matchmaker, Ane Sideri Hagen, also sees this clearly.

Every day she meets single Norwegians looking for the right one, and she thinks what is happening on the dating front now is incredibly exciting.

– I think 2023 will be a year when many will change how they look for a lover, based on the changes we saw last year, says Hagen.

She also believes that honesty for love is now the focus.

– Singles are becoming tougher to actually be honest about what they want. You are no longer on Tinder to find someone to have sex with, hidden behind a profile that suggests you are looking to find a girlfriend, says Hagen.

The dating advisor sees that many people are now more honest about the fact that they are on dating apps to get to know people, and then see what happens.

– Women have also become better at understanding that what is written about a person is what counts. When a man says he’s looking to get to know each other and see what happens, he’s looking for just that – nothing more, nothing less, says the matchmaker.

More serious dating

The Norwegian survey also shows that singles have become more discerning and date less frequently.

68 percent of those who responded state that they rarely date, and that they should be quite sure that there is a spark there before they actually go on a date.

– Many are generally more afraid of ending up in toxic relationships, with the wrong people, says Mathiesen.

She points out that security and stability turn out to be the goal. In the large survey, half state that they are looking for serious romantic relationships.

Matchmaker Hagen has also seen that those looking for a lover now take the dating process much more seriously.

– I think this survey is proof of that. Singles who are looking for something serious are more aware than ever, she says.

The pandemic has changed us

The dating advisor believes that the pandemic made singles think about what is important to them, and set greater demands when they are looking for a lover.

– There has also been an enormous change in the form of what a girlfriend entails and that now not everyone actually wants the traditional path of a girlfriend, engagement, marriage, children. Many do not want children or have children on their own. This also affects where we date and why we date, says Hagen.

She believes it has been important to be able to put boyfriend and life partner in two categories, and not as one thing that leads to something else.

– In any case, I see it in my clients that they find it liberating to be able to be honest that they don’t want to share their whole life with anyone. They see that they are far from alone in thinking this way, and do not need to be branded as frivolous for that reason.

Proximity trumps sex

The dating expert believes 2023 is the year when daters become more open to feeling their own and other people’s feelings – and talk openly about this.

According to Mathiesen in Happn, those who know their own desires and feelings know better what they are looking for in a partner.

– In many ways, they can almost be described as therapists who monitor and analyze the feelings of those in whom they have a romantic interest, she says.

The survey also shows that for both women and men, proximity trumps sex.

31 percent of Norwegian men between 18 and 24 in the survey state that they date to achieve intimacy and closeness with the person.

– Appearance and physical attraction may not be as important as you think. 64 per cent believe that the most important criteria are humor and presence. So perhaps we are moving towards a shift in 2023 where appearance is no longer as controlling, says Mathiesen.

Spirituality

The dating expert also sees spirituality becoming even more important in dating this year.

Zodiac signs, signs from the universe, coincidences and inexplicable chemistry guide more and more daters forward – and love at first sight suddenly becomes relevant again.

– One can speculate whether this has something to do with the chaos in the world these days. Then it is often easier to get carried away on spiritual paths. In addition, traditional identification markers such as gender, religion, nationality and age are becoming less important. People will apply other criteria to find partners, says Mathiesen.

Hagen believes spirituality becomes more important because we search for someone who shares many of the same views, values ​​and opinions as ourselves.

– One of the tools my clients praise the most is that they search for their dream relationship instead of their dream person. From describing the person they want to meet, to describing the relationship they want to have, says Hagen and adds:

– The fact that many singles are now starting to think more through relationships, I think will contribute to more people finding love this year.