Christmas parties They are to share with friends and be together with the family. It is the key date to get together and celebrate in a big way, but this time of year is also an explosion of emotions that can affect our mental health, due to stress, anxiety and other factors that alter our peace of mind.
“There are times of the year like Christmas that are highly charged with affective content, memories, experiences. This can generate stress and anxiety,” explains psychologist Paul Brocca, a professor at the Southern Scientific University.
So, how to protect our mental health in these festivities and, at the same time, enjoy the meetings? Next, the specialist offers a series of reflections and recommendations.
It is valid not to be happy
These celebrations are related to feelings of joy, but not all people share the same enthusiasm, and they may even be sad for various reasons. It is important to accept that these emotions are valid. Not everyone has to be in high spirits this season.
“There is a high level of stress on these dates because they imply responsibilities and expectations to meet. In addition, a series of relationships and affections of people intervenes. These are valid, the issue is that you have to know how to cope with them ”, says the specialist in clinical psychology.
♥Control expectations
Being the end of the year, we evaluate what has been done in the last 12 months according to the goals we set out to achieve. Not having reached them usually produces emotions such as sadness or disappointment. This situation can also be enhanced by the expectations that others have of us.
“People, in one other way, try to meet expectations, feel good. We must try not to be so demanding with ourselves and with others, because we put more load that we cannot tolerate”, she affirms.
The teacher explains that we must accept that 100% of personal goals will not always be met, because not everything is under our control. “We must start from this to have new goals, perhaps more realistic. Sometimes not accepting things generates more frustration, more self-criticism, which causes more pressure and more stress. It is not bad to be critical of the things we have done, but it is important to develop a sense of compassion and even self-pity, ”he refers.
Who are most vulnerable?
One of the factors to take into account on these dates is that not all people have had good experiences related to Christmas or the New Year. Therefore, every time this time of year approaches, your mental health is affected.
“Those people who associate these dates with unrewarding experiences, such as the loss of a loved one, are the most vulnerable. Since these dates can cause pain, we often try to limit or suppress our feelings, but this prevents us from dealing with things in a constructive way. What is recommended is that people try to cope with these emotional responses such as sadness by connecting with important people in their lives and try to create new positive experiences, to give another meaning to these dates,” says the expert.
In this sense, if we face depression or anxiety at these holidays, the specialist recommends carrying out rewarding activities aimed at meeting goals; that is, the person must identify what things bring him satisfaction and carry them out; They can be trips, returning to a hobby like painting or playing a sport.
“The opposite is isolating oneself, engaging in pessimistic behavior or withdrawing from those beneficial activities,” he says.
And the awkward situations?
At year-end gatherings, we usually meet relatives we rarely see. These situations often lend themselves to uncomfortable and invasive questions about the private lives of others. When do you bring a girlfriend? When is the wedding? These are some of the recurring questions.
“On these dates is when our patience, our social skills, our tolerance are tested. And it is a good time to be able to breathe, assess the situation and respond assertively. We must also ask ourselves if responding confrontationally is the best way to deal with these uncomfortable questions. What we win? Probably, we will generate more conflict, and it is not the most indicated when we are in the context of a family reunion, ”explains Brocca.
What to do if someone close to you is not having a good time?
All the plans we make for Christmas and New Years involve more people, be they friends or family. And some of them may not be having the best time. How to help them?
It is important to understand that people react differently to situations, so we should not demand that our loved ones face adversity as we would or as we would like.
“When we see that someone who is affected on these dates has a lot of anxiety or constant sadness, we should be alerted. That’s important because people who have problems don’t necessarily ask for help or don’t accept that they have them,” says Brocca.
The expert recommends, at first, using phrases like the following: “We are seeing that you are not well. We are here to help you.” But if the person feels that he cannot handle the situation, it is time to consult with mental health professionals (psychologists and psychiatrists) who will provide him with specific tools to deal with these situations.
♥General recommendations to take care of our mental health:
- Identify and schedule rewarding activities.
- Having close people who we consider necessary and who give us quality time.
- On dates that generate so much stress, it is essential to practice tolerance, which also implies accepting that others will not always act as we like.
- Practice social skills, which help us to react to criticism or to a question, and also to be assertive in order to respond appropriately without attacking or offending.
- Play sports or some kind of physical activity.
- Understand that both joy and sadness are part of us, and that we should not try to avoid these emotions.
- It is always good to ask for advice to help us analyze situations from other points of view.
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