Berlin.
A good present for Christmas? Experts explain what is important and when and why it is good to make others happy.
the Wishlist are written, secret hiding places are filled with packed small or “big things”. Purchases have been made or are still on the Christmas to-do list. Because: For most people, they are an essential part of the festival, and they still rank higher on the priority list Christmas tree and singing: gifts.
“There are families in which really many gifts be distributed”, brain researcher Gerald Hüther points out in an interview with our editorial team. “And you can’t say they make it, a peaceful one Christmas party to enjoy.”
Other families, on the other hand, would have almost nothing. “And yet it will be the most wonderful celebration that they experience together – that’s even the theme christmas story“, says Huether. He’s convinced: We’ll do it in the modern age company looking at gifts too easy. Many are more concerned with enhancing their own self-esteem than with the other person.
Gifts make the problems of the consumer society clear
Biophysicist, philosopher and science author Stefan Klein also emphasizes with regard to the handing out Christmas Presentsunder the tree: “That one tries the inclination to a person or the relationship to a person in the material value of gifts I find it really, really difficult to monetize it to a certain extent.” The two experts agree that Christmas, as it is celebrated in this country, is definitely not a consistently meaningful event.
According to Hüther, many have internalized the principle “The bigger the gift, the more it is an expression of great love”. The holidays have great potential for community and honest growth – even the gifts. Assuming we were serious throughts around her: Why am I giving someone what? What do I want to achieve with it?
“That’s the joke of it giftsthat in a way we are forced to think seriously about the needs of the recipient and to empathize with them – and ours own motives to make them conscious,” says Stefan Klein, author of the books “The Sense of Giving” and “The Formula for Happiness”. His appeal: “Give less and pay more attention.”
Gifts should not serve your own self-esteem
When it comes to their own motive, most people, whether friends, parents or grandparents, according to Hüther, are liked with the help of the gifts. “As a brain researcher, I have to say: they are basically needy people. They don’t have the feeling that they are good enough the way they are.” But you have to leave this responsibility with yourself and not go through with it gifts pass it on.
The beauty: The good feeling when Give cannot be reduced solely to a confirmation of one’s own self-worth. It’s more than the need to be loved back. The joy that we feel when we give others a gift also occurs when we don’t know the recipient at all – for example an anonymous gift donation. Researchers speak of a “warm glow”, a “cosy feeling”.
In a study at the University of Lübeck, neuroscientist Soyoung Park was able to show that generous behavior and feelings of happiness in our Brain are linked together. “So I think gifting is definitely more than calculation and self-interest,” says Park.
“We could see that our subjects’ eyes lit up just at the thought of who they were going to give gifts to and it was hard to keep them in check so they wouldn’t tell us about them.” Flower for the mother or the meal for the homeless tell.”
It’s better to give away time together at Christmas
Klein also confirms this. Just like Hüther, he is more concerned with the type of gift. “I think we overestimate the value of things we give away and the value of experiences underestimate,” says Klein.
Hüther explains it with a concrete example. “Children will have the long-awaited blinking, wobbling and croaking plastic toys probably don’t really help you find your way around in the world,” says the neurobiologist. “And it will probably not help the child to develop.” Something similar can also be said gifts transferred to adults.
A good gift from Hüther’s point of view: “One travel Guide – from Prague, for example, combined with a voucher for a city trip.” The joint venture doesn’t just create positive memories through experiences, but at the same time strengthen the feeling of connectedness. “This is something that the child needs so that it can develop as a little explorer and designer,” says Hüther.
Parents have to take responsibility
Of course it can happen that a child in particular is disappointed when the heart’s desire of Santa Clausor Christkind is not fulfilled. “But these disappointment should be accepted,” emphasizes Klein. “The child learns to deal with negative feelings, I as a parent learn to endure exactly that and at the same time take my role as a guardian and giver seriously.”
But one thing is certain for Klein: Wishlist are a good thing per se. Because through them you can also find out what the child might actually need. Like new goalkeeper gloves because the old ones are worn out. If there are new ones under the tree, we will also use this one gift feel the joy – automatically.
“happiness is a signal that nature invented to show us that we are on the right path,” explains Klein. “Doing something really good for other people can feel like this and can trigger reactions in the brain that are very similar to eating good chocolate or good sex.” So we should definitely keep giving, but carefully and properly.
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