“I am outraged that old people are pushed to take action in such a violent way on the pretext that they could live like this for years to come… If you can call that living,” Sylvine Planquier tells us on the phone. For three weeks, this resident of Alès (Gard) has lived with the image of the last moments of her mother who walked from her Ehpad to the nearest bridge carrying a stool. “She had character… Imagine the willpower it took to get on it and step over that parapet at 87 years old. » This act was premeditated since everything about her was post-it: “ that, it will have to be washed; That’s clean…” After reading our file on the end of life and the “manifesto of the 109”, Sylvine sent us this heartbreaking letter:
“Following the reading of the article on the end of life of your number n° 3049 from March 16 to 22, 2023, I would like to give you my testimony. Monday, March 6, 2023, in the morning, my 87-year-old mother committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. Horrible death, but carefully prepared.
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She was not afflicted with an incurable disease, suffered from no handicap, could have lived a long time longer as the doctors told her, but could no longer bear to live while gradually losing her autonomy, her dignity, and becoming increasingly dependent. She suffered, as seems normal to many, the misdeeds of old age: suffering from MDLA, she saw more and more badly, lost her hearing, had carpal tunnel problems and could no longer use her hands as she wished. She was finding it increasingly difficult to get around, her memory was shaky, she was overwhelmed by new technologies and had to constantly rely on someone for administrative procedures, exclusively on the internet. She had more and more difficulty showering or washing her hair alone and, to make matters worse, she was becoming incontinent and controlling herself less and less!! But all this was not vital! On the other hand, she had all her head and was very conscious!!!
On the front page of “L’Obs”: end of life, the manifesto of the 109 to change the law
Leaving his mountain home
Divorced and never reunited, she had raised my sister and me alone while leading her professional life (teacher in a single class) and intense political activism. She has always made it a point of honor to fend for herself. Great reader, passionate about manual activities, skilled gardener, raising horses and dogs, with which she traveled throughout the region, handling the brushcutter, the saw, the spade, transporting her bales of hay… She was always active and lacked time to do whatever she wanted. And then, she had to agree to leave her house in the middle of the mountains, because it was too isolated, for a small apartment in the heart of a village (she who loved its landscapes and its tranquility so much!), then she had to give up driving, leaving his small apartment for a residence for the elderly following several falls in order to benefit from monitoring, care and a regular presence.
But she had lost her dear freedom and all that had been her life.
She, who constantly lacked time, discovered boredom and inaction. She was also confronted, through the other residents, with the inevitable degradation that old age entails. And for her it was not bearable! Many times, even in my presence, she asked her doctors to help her leave, she told them of her psychological pain, argued to justify her choice. But, even if some understood her position and her request, nothing could be done because her body allowed her to still “live” (but what life are we talking about!) and she was forced to go, alone, in action and in an abominable way!!!
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A doll and some punch
Why, at 87, faced with a person in possession of all his capacities for analysis and choice, must we come to this violent act? What future could we offer him if not inevitable physical degradation and intense psychological suffering?
She prepared everything meticulously for weeks, even months, she wrote to us, as well as to her doctor, to justify her act and to apologize. The day before she left, she noted on her calendar: “final preparations”. And, this Monday morning, March 6, she left the residence with her cane and, in a bag, a stool to step over the parapet, a doll she had kept since childhood and a bottle of punch to give herself courage! !! Is it human to come to this? While a powerful sedative would have allowed him to fall asleep quietly in his bed and not wake up. And for us, in a state of shock and horror to imagine him in his last moments of life, wouldn’t that have been more bearable?
We knew that she wanted to leave but what could we do if not be present as much as possible, respond to her requests and needs? Even us, his family, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were no longer enough to make him want to live, so we had to inflict this PAIN on him for a long time ??? »
