With his little evil air, he stares at those who do not have the good fortune to please him and strikes them with remarks, whether behind closed doors or in a tribune way, in front of the agora of the open space. We seek comfort in a look. In vain. Chefaillon become three-star chef, he replaced another toxic manager: the one, with his spreadsheet grafted in the brain, calculating live the progress of the objectives. In jogging mode all day, it turned into a marathon interspersed with sprints. And I run I cling to life I get drunk with the noise… Without understanding the distress Of the words I send described Balavoine. By dint of training the hard way, he found better and his troops are wrung out. “I prefer the notion of” toxic management “which makes it possible to distinguish the person, with his share of shadow and light, from his managerial practice”, corrects Chantal Vander Vorst, co-author of the book toxic management (Eyrolles, 2013). She reminds us that in chemistry, a poison becomes toxic depending on the dose and the duration of exposure. A poison whose “specific effect is stress, which does not go away, which has an effect on the well-being, health and performance of a team”.
“What is really important?”
This coach at the head of Humanix-Detox and Grow, has listed five types of toxic management. The most significant is hyper-investment. Efficiency, perfection, performance. Totally pernicious because, if this over-investment is socially valued, it causes damage to the person and the team. The second introduces employees to a “mission impossible”. Unclear rules, changes in organizations, systemic disorders with a gap between responsibilities and degree of autonomy of the function. Third typology: the “little tyrant”, of the despot type, driven by power over others. Then comes the “4X4” or “sacred monster”. He is the leader we admire, but who overwhelms and leaves no room for others, a bit dogmatic. Finally, who has never been confronted with the unsympathetic manager, who does not support another personality in front of him? These typologies can be combined or changed. How can the manager get out of this system? “Our human Sapiens Sapiens brain is basically wired on autopilot. The behaviors described all emanate from this automatic or limbic part. They are often ingrained habits.” Good news: our instinctive or reptilian governance sends us stress. “It’s a fabulous indicator: that of dysfunction”. Second good news: we also have “a prefrontal territory” which allows empathy, getting out of our habits and self-questioning which opens up to adaptive intelligence. This is the key, with three ways of questioning oneself: by thought, emotion or body. “I’ve been doing karate for 30 years, says Chantal Vander Vorst. For me, it’s the wisdom of the body that shows us the way. The body doesn’t care about dominating the colleague! It’s “Shin Gi Tai” – or the unity of thought, technique and the physical”. When the body and stress alert us, there are three things to do: a self-diagnosis, asking the major question: “what is really important?” and, finally, embody the values we defend.
Training in relational quality
Henri Sendros-Mila, President of the Professional Chamber of Mediation and Negotiation (CPMN) and co-author of Practice of relational engineering (ESF, 2016) is familiar with crisis situations, both in liberated and hierarchical companies. “These managers don’t do things to do and hurt themselves.” They are mistakenly confused with perverts. They would like the tensions – unbearable for them too – to calm down. Toxicity resides in awkwardness, hurtful comparisons, or even disastrous habits, like a directive that lands in an autonomous team. Denying or minimizing, in a “no wave” or “we are not in a schoolyard” way, contributes to managerial culture clashes and rejected managers. The manager’s introspection is necessary to identify tensions: this is the first step that prevents tensions and unspoken things from spreading and degenerating. Then expose them for the purpose of participatory discussion. “Hear all points of view”. Difficult ? “You have to train in relational quality”. Train managers, without forgetting the companies that make the decisions and the other employees who suffer the poison of these relationships.
