Here she hunts unfaithful Norwegians: – Often has her heart in her throat

The Advent stake in the kitchen window lights up an otherwise gray room Christmas Day in a house in Eastern Norway.

A stone’s throw from the home is a car. At regular intervals, it drives slowly past the house, to make sure that the “object” has not left its residence.

The scout sits in the car. A woman in her 50s, who in this case has asked to remain anonymous.

She has memorized the registration number of both cars of the elderly couple, who live in the house.

The spy has been assigned by the wife to follow the man when he leaves the house, to find out if he has a lover.

– Full control

The scanner spots notes on the mobile. It is filled with times for when and where the “object” has been that same morning.

– As soon as one of the cars leaves the house, I take pictures and follow that person. Between 12 noon and 6 pm for four days, I have full control over where he stays and what he does, she says.

The assignment description states the following:

“Find out if he’s seeing a mistress or talking on the phone, and what he’s saying, if possible. »

– I think a lot about what it must be like to live in a relationship where you are so insecure that you feel compelled to hire a private investigator, says the spy.

She estimates that her wife has spent between NOK 25,000 and 30,000 on this assignment.

The spy has been working on adultery investigations for about a year. The company she works for carries out approximately 150 such assignments a year.

– It is a special job. When I started, I took a self-defense course to be on the safe side. I often get my heart in my throat, but have become a little tougher with time. It’s amazing how little people actually notice. They care most about themselves.

Psst: Read Frode Thuen’s five reasons why people cheat at the bottom of the article.

Tire stories and more hats

She hides her hair in a large black bubble jacket and pulls the hood over her head.

– I have to take care to be as unrecognizable as possible. I always have hats in different colors with me so I can change things up a bit.

The scout says that she always prepares well before a mission.

– You can find out a lot about a person on social media, so I always take care to form a picture of that person before I start.

She also has various cover stories lying around.

– Sometimes I take the dog for a walk, or look for a house in the area that is for sale and pretend to be interested.

High season

The man behind Etterforsker1 Gruppen, Thomas Mathiesen, says that they have over 65 detectives across the country who work to uncover adultery.

According to Mathiesen, there has by no means been a lack of inquiries from worried Norwegians who are afraid that their partner will break free during the space Christmas.

– Romjulen was fully booked with assignments several weeks before Christmas. We receive many inquiries throughout the year, but at Christmas and in August and September, the pressure is by far the greatest.

– This actually corresponds to when most people divorce, so it may indicate that many also suspect infidelity during these periods, he says.

The assignments Mathiesen has received this year differ somewhat from the assignments he received when the corona measures put a damper on nightlife.

– Most of the scouting we do now is related to parties and nightlife. When there was a pandemic, we had a preponderance of assignments where one party in the relationship had a relationship to say. The surveillance was therefore to a greater extent in residential areas and at private addresses.

Of the 150 assignments Etterforskning1 undertakes during a year, the detectives end up proving infidelity or lies in approximately 70 percent of the cases.

– In the remaining 30 percent, there may also be a question of infidelity, but perhaps we have not been hired at the right time, so that we are able to collect sufficient evidence.

Mathiesen’s customer group is varied, but one age group in particular stands out.

– We receive most paid assignments from people over the age of 35. They are probably the ones who have the money to spend on that sort of thing. We also get inquiries from people in their 20s, but not everyone in this age group has the finances to hire a private investigator, he says.

Put GPS on the wife

The ranger, which is parked on the side of the road close to the house of the elderly couple in Eastern Norway, has been waiting for around two hours.

– There is a lot of waiting in this job. In this particular case, I have not discovered anything suspicious, she says.

There has nevertheless been no lack of action during previous missions.

– I have sneaked into office premises, experienced men putting GPS trackers on their wives and following people on the street.

But it has not only been infidelity that she has spied on.

– I have also been tasked with uncovering conditions that may be decisive in child distribution cases. Then one of the parties hires a private investigator to prove that they are best suited to receive parental rights.

She says that all of the material and images she collects are passed on to the client after the assignment is completed.

– I feel that I am helping people who are in a difficult situation, but it is an extreme thing to do in a relationship, she says.

Five reasons for infidelity

For cohabitation therapist Frode Thuen, it is understandable that some choose to take it as far as hiring a private investigator to spy on their loved one.

– This is difficult with adultery. What do you do if you have strong suspicions, but it doesn’t help to talk to your partner? Yes, many probably see the private investigators as a last attempt to get clarity.

If you suspect that your partner is unfaithful, Thuen has one clear piece of advice.

– Ask yourself the question: do I have good reason to be suspicious now, or is this about my own insecurity?

– Many people are insecure by nature and can attribute motives to their partner that he or she does not have. Other times there is good reason to be skeptical and suspicious, and then it is about having as much concrete evidence as possible.

If you conclude that the suspicion against your partner will not go away, Thuen believes that the most important thing is to talk together.

– In many cases, such things will be resolved when you communicate well. If the partner is unfaithful, or refuses to do so, that is another matter, he says.

According to Thuen, there are five reasons for adultery in particular:

1. Spice up your sex life: For some, infidelity is about taking advantage of an opportunity that arises, without necessarily having so much emotion in the act itself. They see it as an opportunity to spice up their sex life.
2. Infatuation: On some occasions, a crush may have developed for a different person than the one you are with over time. At one point or another, this may develop into something sexual.
3. Lack of physical or emotional closeness: This can lead to adultery. It is about missing something in the relationship, and feeling that this need must be met from outside.
4. On the way out of the relationship: If you are about to end a relationship, there are some who feel they need to build a bridge to a new relationship.
5. Problems coping with one’s own emotions: Some uses infidelity to deal with what one really feels. This is often rooted in a need for confirmation or a sex addiction