Party hits and female self-determination are two topics that usually have little to do with each other. Find out here how Jasmin Wagner aka Blmchen wants to change that and what her first encounter with her daughter’s father was like.
Jasmin Wagner, 43, made a name for herself in the German music scene in the 90s and has since been known primarily by her nickname “Blmchen”. In keeping with Oktoberfest, the new mother is now releasing her song “Lass mich” together with the dating platform “Bumble” with the aim of strengthening the female perspective in the party music scene. Find out in the GALA interview how she sees the issue of equality in her industry, how she feels in her new role as a mother and why the first date with her true love was like a fairy tale.
GALA: Together with “Bumble”you released the song “Let me”. What’s it all about?
Jasmin Wagner: With Bumble I tried to make a song that strengthens the female point of view in the party, Mallorca Ballermann and Oktoberfest scenes. And yes, to provide a bit of a counterpoint to the clearly lived out sexism that takes place in party music. It’s not that easy to pack an important, serious and relevant topic into a package that is still supposed to radiate lightness and be fun. But I think it worked out very well and I think it’s nice that I can show young women who come to me for advice a path that means partying, but still self-determination.
Jasmin Wagner: “I was able to close the wounds and lovingly stick plasters on them”
Have you had any experiences with prejudice yourself?
Of course. I share with many women this collective burden of prejudice that we must fight against. For my own path, it has always been important not to let myself be defined by the opinions and expectations of others, including men. Of course, it wasn’t always easy, but I was able to close the wounds that had opened up and simply put loving plasters on them. To break through this process, you need perseverance, a strong network and ongoing motivation. Even though it requires extra effort, I would like to see younger women, especially aspiring female artists, have an easier time entering the music industry. There seems to be positive change already, which is very encouraging, and when it comes to connecting and supporting I am very passionate.
Dating users agree: For every second woman, the topic of equality is a must on the first date. What did you pay particular attention to when dating?
Being single again after being in a relationship for over ten years was very exciting, because the singles market has of course changed a lot.
In what respect?
Well, before I got into my long relationship, there was no online dating in that sense. When I was single, I was about to sign up for a platform like that, but my friend Sophie said: “Please wait before you sign up, I want to introduce you to someone else.” This person then became the love of my life and the father of my daughter. So the online dating market almost got me (laughs).
She also values authenticity when dating
What was it like for you when you met your new partner?
When I talk to some of my female colleagues who are also in the public eye, many find dating difficult. I never saw it that way. What’s important to me when dating is that I can show myself as I am. A date with me would mean doing something completely normal: It is important to me that I can show my values and also talk about my successes. It is important to me that I am supported in this. And that I don’t have to make myself small. This is also an experience that I shared with many of my friends when I was single: we have the feeling that we have to adapt. Dating as a woman, the way I felt, also means looking, who is sitting across from me? Can he live with me earning more, being more successful and having a higher position? That I express my desires or put my sexual preferences on the table?
Have you ever had a bad dating experience?
Of course there are exciting, exhilarating moments in dating, but also moments when you ask yourself: “Am I really here? Did that really just happen?” Sometimes these dating mishaps were painful and needed to be dealt with. But in retrospect, when you’re in a happy relationship, you often see them as the spice of life, as those special experiences that help you reconcile with the past and realize who you were at that moment.
You have been a mother for almost a year now. How do you find the balance between work and private life?
I manage to balance everything because my work allows me to have my baby with me. But I also have the support of my mother, my friends and my daughter’s father. So these professional ventures have often become family ventures.Of course, this also brings challenges, but the positive side is that I now spend more time with my mother and I now find that incredibly valuable. At the same time, you also have to learn to travel together and spend as much time together again. I’m surprised at how easy this is for us, because I had imagined it would be much more difficult. Maybe it’s also because I have a cute, curious baby who also likes to be out and about. (laughs)
That sounds almost perfect…
There are moments when I naturally ask myself whether the size is right. How much time on the road is good for such a small person. But then I always come to the conclusion that a child needs a strong and happy mother. And if I am, then I can give my child the fullness and abundance that he or she needs to be happy. I would also just like to think that in society there would be less of a guilty conscience when people say: As a mother, I will now take time for my career and time away from my child. I think this attitude should become more understandable. My child’s father is Dane and in the Scandinavian countries this sort of thing is much more commonplace. We as a society should also just celebrate when a new mother says, “Hey, my child is fine, I’m busy with my other passion for a few hours a day. We are all these mothers and we are proud of it and we love it. But we are not just that.
These are the rules often imposed by society
Exactly, even on dates: “Can I just call him?” I have to wait at least four hours before I can text him. Total nonsense. Things worked very well with my current partner right from the start and I didn’t have to worry about writing and that’s how it should be. Suddenly none of that mattered anymore because we fit together really well. It was like a dating fairy tale, but I think that should actually be the rule.
What was your first date together like?
We went on a blind date arranged by our mutual friend Sophie. It was pandemic Germany and we met for a walk, what else? He wore a “Free Hugs” sign as identification and I wore angel wings. Only briefly. But in such a way that we recognize each other. My girlfriend imagined it like that. We had to follow the rules. We were rewarded for that. (laughs)
Did you immediately notice that he was the right one?
In any case, I immediately had the feeling: I could anchor here. Then of course it took a few dates before we had fun together, could have a good conversation, found each other attractive and felt attraction, but yes, that was a good moment. You can see what love can do. I was a woman who was at home in other life desires. I wanted to climb mountains, go to festivals, let off steam professionally and had the feeling: What other people want with children is not a strong wish. But with my current partner it suddenly became a nice thought to have a family. Personally, I thought being a mother meant I could no longer do my job. The thought stressed me out because I thought it would change everything. But my experience is that it makes everything nicer. And of course I can continue to practice my job. And of course I can still be an attractive woman if I want to. I can be anything.
Having a child is truly a miracle.
Yes, totally and it also just connects you with everyone who has similar experiences. When my daughter was born, I immediately had a completely different respect for my mother because I saw again: Wow, you did that for me. And you can only really understand this when you have this experience yourself. Before I was just on another island. It was also very nice before. Also very fulfilling, but now life is just different.
You just said that your partner is Dne. Will your child grow up bilingual?
Yes, that would be nice. Of course it’s not my fault, but I like to play Danish songs for the baby. (laughs)
How would you react if your child said at some point that he or she wanted to follow in your footsteps?
(laughs) I would find it more exciting if she went her own way. But knowing me, I can’t decide much. I can only show the way and I believe that we will find a good path for them.
