Paul Janke played us the perfect permanent single for years. Now it’s clear: it’s all just a big bluff. Who else is lying to us?
Do you know Paul Janke? If you know him, then you know: Paul is the eternal TV bachelor. He is the original bachelor who, with a narrow upper lip and fantastically full, blond hair, has been distributing roses for what feels like 300 years and appears as a permanent single wherever it is possible.
Whether supermarket openings or disco parties: Paul Janke is a popular guest who is primarily intended to attract women who are willing. In Krümels Stadl in Peguera, a popular bar on Mallorca, the people of Hamburg hand out red roses in the evenings, whatever else. He keeps a white one for a very special lady, who then gets togetherness with the ex-bachelor and drinks on account of the Stadl. The concept works, Paul Janke makes good money by being single.
In a relationship with Sarah Dinges’ cousin
And now it suddenly comes out, the guy was taken the whole time. permanent single? Bah, because of it! Paul Janke was in a relationship for years – with Sarah Dinges’ cousin. Now who is that again? That’s the one who established the witty saying “Zack the bean” on “Germany’s next top model” at the time, or at least quarreled with Gina-Lisa Lohfink about the copyrights, only to then three years later in the jungle camp the much more witty sayings “My Air was away” and “What happens when we break?” to invent.
So. And that cousin that you don’t actually know, but who is now finding its way into the common C celebrity scene from various media as a “love lie from the original bachelor” and who could also have a meaningful career there Paul Janke hidden from all of us. But we also wanted to believe what he made us believe. Wanted to see him as a foolish, never-changing distributor of roses. The whole world is changing at breakneck speed, you can no longer keep up. Luckily there are constants in our lives like Paul Janke, Ur-Bachelor since 2012.
We should have known
We should have known better. How is hair so full of hair supposed to stay single for so long? How should so much flirting offensive not land a hit? Paul Janke was never even an original bachelor. He was not the first Rosenkavalier to sort out women for RTL. That was Marcel Maderitsch, a bank clerk from Austria. Can you read everything? We just didn’t want to believe it.
Who else lied to us? What else can we believe? Have Helene Fischer and Florian Silbereisen never separated? Isn’t Günther Jauch that smart? Isn’t Judith Rakers blonde and was Boris Becker never insolvent? Are Marianne and Michael just siblings and not lovers at all? Is Heino not German at all and are Til Schweiger’s movies actually really good? Didn’t we ever become soccer world champions?
It’s hard to regain trust in a person after such a life lie. After our world was so shaken. After everything we thought we knew turned out to be a huge scam campaign. And what is supposed to become of Paul Janke now? What is a rose without a thorn? A fish out of water? The single became a rascal who twists facts and tells us what we want to hear. Who fools us and makes us believe his lies.
Perhaps Paul Janke should knock on the door of Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg and ask about an internship. After all, he is very familiar with half-truths and swindles.
