Symbolic picture: A young woman dances exuberantly in a church. As in politics, women are also perceived differently in the church, says Rev. Angelica Dinge. Image: cottonbro studio / Pexels
Germany
Eighteen women sit in a circle. In turn, each of them lights a candle. The tiny flames light up the room. The warm light nestles against the faces marked by life. The “mother circle” has been meeting in the evangelical church “Am Friedrichshain” for forty years.
At the beginning of this year, the older ladies welcomed the young pastor Angelica Dinger into their group.
Angelica Dinger is a passionate pastor – but there are moments when she struggles with her faith.picture: watson / Anne-Kathrin Hamilton
With a powerful voice she now presents her devotion to the Advent celebration. A strand of her short hairstyle keeps falling in her face. “The Advent season is about waiting and expecting.” Dinger speaks her words clearly and with emphasis. This year the community is waiting for the end of the war in Ukraine, she says. The women’s heads nod in unison. A sigh goes through the group.
War.
How can people be blown to shreds by rockets and parents die in front of their children – if there is a God?
The young pastor sometimes struggles with her faith
“There are moments in life when you take your problems to God, but have the feeling that there is no one at the other end,” says the pastor. She too had such a moment when she was 19 in a children’s village in Peru. There she helped as a volunteer.
At the age of 19, Dinger worked in a children’s village in Peru. The fate of the children affected her greatly. Credit: imago images/ZUMA Wire / Mariana Bazo
A little boy often wanted to pray with her before going to bed. “As he did so, he called for his deceased mother,” says the theologian in a low voice. She looks down. After a moment she adds: “I didn’t know what to pray either.”
She also wonders how can there be a loving God – with all these cruel fates in the world? In the relationship with God everything is not always good, she says and pours more tea into her cup. Her fingernails are painted purple. Several golden rings glow in the light of the burning candle in front of her. There is little furniture in her office. A desk, a cupboard, a guest table with two chairs and a flipchart with “Be happy” written on it.
“What I’m passionate about are the issues of people who believe.”
Born in Westphalia, she comes from a religious family. Religion has always been an exciting topic for the 37-year-old. Why are we here? What’s the meaning of life? She could think about these questions for hours. “Religion is a field where I can discuss all issues between heaven and earth,” she says.
From politician to pastor: Dinger previously worked for the SPD
It was not always clear to the theologian that she would become a pastor. At first she was involved with the Young Socialists, later she became a consultant for the SPD party headquarters for religious policy. “After six years, I felt it was time for a new step,” explains Dinger. In the political world, she sometimes neglected the personal dimension of the religious issue. “What I particularly like and what I’m passionate about are the issues of people who believe,” she explains.
She would come into contact with all milieus of society. Death is a constant companion of the pastor. Because everyone has to die – whether poor or rich. But it is precisely this colorful mix of human encounters that fascinates her about her job. She also exchanges ideas with those who want to turn away from the church.
More and more people are leaving the evangelical church. The young pastor looks for reasons.Image: IMAGO / UIG
“The fact that I’m a woman is still an issue.”
“Why do so many people lose contact with the church?” she often wonders. In 2021, half a million people left the Protestant Church. According to Dinger, religious knowledge is declining sharply. “I wish that we would lower the expectations placed on people and make it easier for them to participate,” says Dinger. The Church needs to come back to the people.
The pastor surprised some
That’s why she often goes door to door, visiting her parishioners. She brings them small gifts and notifies them of upcoming events. She is often asked if she really is the pastor.
“People look at me in amazement and ask once or twice: And you’re really the pastor?” says Dinger. Smiling, she shakes her head. The large round leopard print earrings dangle in her ears. “The fact that I’m a woman is still an issue”she says and adjusts the frame of the glasses on the bridge of the nose.
Especially with people who are far from the church, there is still an element of surprise. Like in the politics women are often perceived differently in the church too, says the pastor. Often they must be expecting someone else, she says with a shrug and blows out the candle on the table. “We should go,” says the young woman and gets up.
Before going to the mother circle, the pastor quickly jumps into the secretary’s room to sign two documents. Bureaucracy takes up a large part of their work. Accounting, financial plans and the maintenance of the old churches. “It only has to rain heavily once and a roof tile is already loose,” she explains on the way from the vicarage to the church.
She didn’t have much free time. The job is not particularly family-friendly. So she will hold a service on Christmas Eve at 11 p.m. Her husband is very patient with her, she says with a laugh. But when her schedule allows, she likes to go out with friends. “I also like to dance in one of the Berlin clubs”, she says. In addition to jogging and cycling, this is her balance to the stressful everyday life.
To clear her head, the young pastor likes to go dancing in an electronic club. Image: IMAGO/7aktuell / Daniel Jüptner
On the way, she greets the head of the church day-care center on the playground. The community has so many offers: Kindergarten, church services, choirs, pastoral care and senior citizen talks. This also includes the Mothers’ Group, which meets every two weeks.
Praying, singing and drinking coffee – in a circle with the older ladies
Dinger opens the church’s heavy wooden door and enters a small room. A pleasant warmth immediately settles on the cold cheeks. The smell of coffee and biscuits is in the air. The older ladies talk so excitedly that you can hardly understand your own words. They greet the pastor warmly in their group and show her a place at the festively decorated table.
For the older women, the mother’s circle is an important support in their everyday life.Image: watson / Anne-Kathrin Hamilton
Dinger pays close attention to the women she is talking to. “Was there wine last time?” she teasingly asks her neighbor. “Just punch,” she replies, laughing. Another participant explains that this circle gives her strength and warmth. “The men die first,” she says. There is a deep sadness between her words.
Here in the church they find support and exchange. According to Dinger, being alone is a big topic in her weekly consultation hours. Many people feel lonely right now at Christmas time. But people are also worried about rising energy costs. She always brings a part of herself to these conversations.
The pastor has lively conversations with the members of the mother circle. Image: watson / anne-kathrin hamilton
Just like now in the group of mothers. The pastor gives the women her full attention. Her eyes light up and her cheeks glow. There is a lot of warmth in the room, which not only comes from the radiators. The women have been through a lot together,explains Dinger. Be it births, failed marriages or illness – they go through thick and thin.
They sing hymns with the pastor.Image: watson / anne-kathrin hamilton
One of the older ladies hits a singing bowl with a spoon, and there is silence. Dinger begins her devotions. “The Advent season is about waiting and expecting,” she says, speaking of the pandemic and the terrible war in Ukraine.
According to Dinger, it is human to sometimes doubt your faith. “Faith is a constant search, but it always gives us hope‘ says the young pastor.
