If you feel that they ask you for a tip practically everywhere These days, you’re not alone. In addition to traditional places (restaurants, barbershops, taxis), customers are asked to tip everywhere from small shops to airport self-checkout kiosks.
Etiquette experts like Thomas Farley, aka Mister Manners, call the phenomenon “tipflation.”
“People really feel compelled,” Farley says. “We are already living in inflationary times. Everything is crazy expensive. And on top of that, every time they turn to you they ask: “How much would you like to tip?” He feels pushy, he feels compelled, and almost every client I talk to says, ‘Why aren’t companies just paying people more?’”
It’s a good question, but don’t hold your breath for an answer. Rather, take solace in the knowledge that there are still scenarios where etiquette experts say a tip is not required, even if it is requested.
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Here are the five places and times when tipping is not required:
PROFESSIONALS
As a general rule, you don’t need to tip anyone who earns a salary or performs a trade. That means you don’t have to tip doctors, lawyers, teachers, plumbers or cable technicians.
“Not only would it not be expected, but it would be very unorthodox and very uncomfortable,” says Farley. In addition, in certain situations, “it could appear that you are trying to get some kind of favor or that it could be some kind of bribery.”
COUNTER SERVICE
As a general rule, anyone who works a counter earns a salary, while those who deliver food, either to your table or to your home, rely on tips for the majority of their income. For that reason, tipping people behind a counter, such as a barista or cashier, is not a requirement as far as etiquette experts are concerned, even if the receipt suggests otherwise.
“People are embarrassed to tip, but it’s not necessary,” says Elaine Swann, a lifestyle and etiquette expert and founder of the Swann School of Etiquette.
However, that is not to say that a tip for a counter worker is out of the question. “It’s a nice gesture to tip a worker who goes above and beyond service,” says Swann. “For example, maybe you frequent the establishment frequently and they have your order memorized.”
OPEN BAR EVENTS
If you go to an event with an open bar, the bar staff may or may not put out a tip jar. As a general rule of thumb, “Keep in mind that the host of that event has probably already taken care of the tips,” says Swann. “That tip would be included in what they have had to pay for the place or for the cocktail service.”
That means you are not required to tip. It’s, of course, appreciated, Farley says, and can help you get better service overnight.
“If there is a very busy bar, and there are several people to take orders from, the fact that you have recognized them may make them give you more. Maybe they gave you the ice cup you were asking for,” she says. “A dollar here or there is not too much to ask.”
DOUBLE TIPS
You don’t have to tip twice for the same service. Swann recently heard comments from women who tipped the technician who worked on their nails at a salon and were then asked to tip again when they paid at the counter. “That’s just the establishment trying to get more money out of you.”
The situation may become a bit more complicated in cities that have implemented minimum wage requirements for tipped workers, such as restaurant servers. Some restaurants in these cities will apply a 20% service charge to your bill before presenting you with the option of tipping.
In those scenarios, it’s appropriate to quietly ask your server where the fee goes. “If they tell you it goes to the servers and the bartenders, etc., your job of tipping is done,” says Swann.
If the money is going home, you may want to leave a tip for the server who served you, says Farley, who recently ended up tipping 20% plus a 20% service charge at a restaurant in Denver.
“From an etiquette standpoint, we still tip the servers who bring us our food,” he says. “But I left the restaurant feeling like that was not a sustainable situation.”
TERRIBLE SERVICE
You are never obligated to tip someone when they provided you with poor service or if you had a rude interaction with them. In the case of a one-on-one service, like a haircut, this is pretty straightforward. In fact, if a barber messed up your hair so badly that you felt they didn’t deserve a tip, you probably wouldn’t be out of line asking for a full refund, says Farley.
In the case of a restaurant, it becomes a bit more complicated. Swann recommends a sliding scale for tips in restaurants, with 20% being the standard, and more if a server goes above and beyond. Even in the face of bad service, you wouldn’t go below 10%, and if that’s the case, you still need to ask yourself a few questions. I mean, is the waiter to blame?
“If the food took too long to come out, it’s a kitchen problem. If it was not prepared correctly, it is a kitchen problem. If the atmosphere was not pleasant, say because it was too noisy, that has nothing to do with the service.”
If you had an unpleasant interaction with a server, you may have reason to take the tip, but be sure to let management know as well, says Swann.
“If you go to management and then leave a lower tip, they’ll know you’re ignorant when it comes to tips,” she says. “Whether they agree with your complaint or not, they will understand why you left a lower tip.”
ThisarticleIt was originally published in English byryan ermeyfor our sister network CNBC.com. For more from CNBC enterhere.
