If one follows the advice of New York-based relationship, sex and mental health therapist Rachel Wright, there may be several advantages to jumping into bed already on the first date.
It writes Daily Mail.
Talk about expectations
– Sex on the first date can be beneficial – if you then want to have sex on the first date. There is no right time to have sex, says Wright.
The relationship therapist justifies the answer by saying that it can help to decide early on whether you want to continue the relationship at all or not.
She believes that old-fashioned ideals of not giving everything at once can create shame for those who want to be intimate on the first meeting.
The sex toy chain Lovehoney recently conducted a survey in which 2,000 adults participated. There it emerged that 49 per cent had had sex on a first date.
In an older survey, done by The meeting place in Norway in 2013, 43 percent of 1,663 single Norwegians answered that it is okay to have sex on the first date.
– Completely optional
Specialist in sexological counseling and sexuality education, Margrete Wiede Aasland, agrees with Wright that it must become less shameful to have sex on a first date.
– In Norway, we don’t particularly think that you are “cheap” if you have sex on the first date anymore, she says to TV 2.
– Having sex on the first date is completely optional. For some, it seems okay, you continue to date – and maybe become lovers.
OPTIONAL: Sexologist Margrete Wiede Aasland believes it is optional whether you want to have sex on the first date or not. Photo: Private
She explains that some of the benefits of sex on a first date can be to have a sexual need met, to be satisfied that someone wants you sexually or to create an exciting sexual meeting where both want to explore more.
Wiede Aasland emphasizes that it is important that the sex is voluntary from both parties, and that you do not feel that you have to or should stand up.
She explains that some people may think that sex on a first date is trivial, because you don’t know each other, or for other reasons:
Sex on the first date
According to a survey by Lovehoney, 49 percent have had sex on a first date.
53 percent answered that they had sex on the first date because they enjoy it.
46 percent wanted to see if they had a sexual connection with the person early on, and 20 percent wanted to see if they accepted their fetishes.
47 percent answered that they wanted to wait to have sex, because they did not want to be sexually intimate with an unknown person.
38 percent say they don’t believe in having sex on the first date, and 32 percent say they only have sex with people they are emotionally attached to.
Source: lovehoney.com
– Someone who goes on a date may have something in their baggage that makes them prefer to wait to have sex, or they prefer to be safe with a person, says Wiede Aasland.
– Some are used to one night stands and think sex with a new partner feels perfectly fine. Some date for sex, others to find a life partner.
She encourages you to find out if you have set yourself the same goal before going on a first date.
The dating market has changed
Family therapist and sexologist at the Curaserentet, Thomas J. Winther, believes that there are no special advantages or disadvantages to having sex on a first date.
– You should have sex with whoever you want, who also wants to have sex with you, when you want it, he says to TV 2 and adds:
– It is not necessary for it to happen on the first date. There’s a lot you don’t know on the first date, but it’s not harmful to have sex on the first date either.
EARLY OR LATE: Sexologist Thomas J. Winther believes that no one can say when it is too early or too late to have sex. Photo: Private
The family therapist emphasizes that it is important that those who choose to wait to have sex only do so because they themselves want to wait – not because it is expected of them.
Winther believes that different faiths may be one of the reasons why people have a mixed view of sex, and that some may feel ashamed if they have sex early.
He still believes that people should not feel ashamed about their sexuality:
– No one should say that it is too early or too late. It is up to each individual, says the sexologist.
Winther says that society and the dating market have changed recently:
– Before, people met each other at work, school or leisure activities. Now things have changed, and you are out to meet a partner. That’s why I’m guessing that there are more people who have sex on a first date now than before, he says.
