The Cuban revolution is like a comedian who ran out of jokes. Even the insults that have always been a kind of emergency exit for the Castro dictatorship seem to be ‘rationed’. A few weeks ago they put us on a terrorist list and seeing that it had no effect, they returned to nature. They compare us again with animals, preferably beasts. We were worms, until those who flew back with dollars on their wings became butterflies. But Interior Ministry investigators on classified missions tend not to be very imaginative. If they put the effort into collecting debris, Cuba would be different.
Let’s be clear, ingenuity or brilliance are not characteristics of the colonels of the Ministry of the Interior in Cuba. We must remember Colonel Raveiro, (better known as compote) an expert in terrorism who, to accuse us of what they practice, appeared on official screens with a television from the 1950s where the supposed envoy of the American National Foundation was carrying explosives. To be more specific, explosives that would have to pass through customs inside the bulky device. I always wondered: who would travel to Havana with a bomb inside such a device that attracted powerful attention and pretend not to be detected?
On another occasion, a colonel from Regla, Nelson de Armas, who delighted in persecuting the opposition, harassed them with the same phrase: “The revolution is untouchable!” Until some daring opponent put a CANF sticker on his motorcycle and he almost had to be admitted after having kicked in the archaic method of transportation that made him feel superior to others. Power is a serious thing.
Another “intelligence” expert, when I called him to tell him that in my neighborhood there was a fax machine that received and sent caricatures of Fidel, asked me: what is an “fa”? When I called another of the counterintelligence specialists on the now old electronic communication, his assistant, after asking someone else in the barracks who he didn’t know either, answered me: “Negative, comrade, the colonel doesn’t have faith.”
But when they are funniest is when they aspire to be writers. Well, that’s why they have Granma, the official newspaper of the Cuban Communist Party, more frequently used as toilet paper than as an informant. Colonel Francisco Arias Fernández was given the mission to attack Congresswoman Maria Elvira Salazar. Where to grab it?
Number 1 on the list: for terrorist. She was associated with Posada Carriles whom she interviewed on several occasions.
Number 2 on the agenda, because of the connections. Senator Marco Rubio, his colleague Mario Díaz Balart and Ninoska Pérez Castellón or, according to them, “his idols Iliana Ros Lehtinen and Bob Menéndez.”
Number 3 in the “delicate mission” of Colonel Arias, find a qualifier for him. Compare it to some beast and fuacata! That’s where the soldier’s imagination failed.
The colonel searched and searched and called it a hyena. I imagine him smiling at her brilliance when he laid hands on that repulsive, carrion-eating animal. I see him engrossed in her thoughts: With this I destroy her once and for all, a useless calculation. Only they forgot that in the long list of insults and epithets they had already given me that title, caricature and all. In the “official bestiary” we included Iliana Ros Lehtinen as the “Big Bad Wolf”, Lincoln Díaz Balart as “The Boa”, Senator Torricelli the “Dinosaur” and I had to be “The Hyena”. The “Ninoskahiena Pérez”. How much genius of the MININT! In this modern world where even the ugly become pretty with surgery and they have not discovered the formula for the brutes to become intelligent. “Life is a greater thing” as that Cuban philosopher Tres Patines would say.
But the real reason for the article is that Congresswoman Salazar hit them where it hurts. “Why is she afraid of MSMEs, tourism, cohíbas and the Havana Club”? asks the troubled colonel in search of awards. And therein lies the answer to why the insults. He affects the pockets of the corrupt leadership of the Havana Cartel.
If Colonel Arias’ mission is to achieve the end of the sanctions, he is very rude if he believes that by instilling fear and insulting he is going to achieve it. He should focus on the serious problems that affect the country and see how the regime changes to achieve it. Otherwise, if they lift the embargo, the only changes we will see will be those of credits that will not be paid. The top leadership will continue to enrich and nothing will change for those fifth-class Cubans in their own country who do not have the dollars to survive. We know it and we maintain it and that is why we support and advocate for the embargo and for Cuba to remain on the list of countries that sponsor terrorism.
As long as there are no changes and we know that they are not contemplated in the criminal nature of the Havana regime, Colonel Arias will continue in his Lada as decadent as the revolution, without being able to plaster or paint the walls of his home and negotiating a few lumps on the left. By porc. On the other hand, Díaz Canel and Marrero Cruz will continue to drive luxurious European cars and the bellies of the ‘fed up’ women who eat delicacies that neither the people nor the abject colonels in failed missions will taste will grow more and more.
I congratulate my friend and gladly share the “hyena” award. We must be doing something right when we bother so much. Today our grandmothers are celebrating. The only thing I hope is that due to the shortage they don’t recycle the cartoon and make a new one. You deserve it María Elvira. Congratulations!
