All the parents want to help their childrenbecause that is part of parenthood and because loving them means helping them.
LOOK: Why do some parents remain tied to their children who ask for help all the time?
But if you have a son adult who is always in trouble, you pay his debts, he is drunk, he fights with his wife or husband, he asks you for money, many times in a disrespectful way, and still you run to save him from the situation, you should know that you are doing very wrong because that is no longer your responsibility.
“If every time you son or daughter has a problem and you get her out of that predicament, she will never learn, what’s more, you become codependent and your son will never be able to get ahead alone ”, warns psychologist and coach Martha Martínez Hidalgo.
Set limits. Photo: Stock.
If after receiving the aid, this son does not take advantage of it to grow and learn, the specialist advises: “Stop doing it because you’re not helping him get over it. You are helping him to continue being mediocre and not make an effort.
Martínez Hidalgo advises letting him live the consequences of his actions, and yes, when he has hit bottom and realizes that everything is due to his bad decisions, tell him: ‘SonI’m here’.
For the expert, a mother always has to help, but the way of giving her that hand changes. “Help your son when you see that he makes an effort to improve”, indicates.
On the other hand, it asks parents to set limits and be firm, otherwise -he affirms- these children they will think that you are obligated to help them all the time.
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