Julie (20) spent a lot of time alone at home during the Christmas holidays. On social media, she could see others who were with friends and partying. It was painful.
Finally, she decided to do something.
Another place in the same county sat Maria Røvik (21). She felt much the same as Julie. Then she saw a post on a girls’ group on Facebook.
Thought it was embarrassing
– Hi. I think this is a bit silly, embarrassing to post. But feel it is worth a chance, starts the post.
It was Julie who described how she felt.
– I sit at home alone all the time and see that everyone else is at a party and having fun with their friends. I think it’s quite sad, I feel a lot of loneliness, she writes before asking if anyone wants to get to know her.
– I know someone in the Facebook group so I thought it was embarrassing, but then I thought I just had to jump in, says Julie, who does not want to be referred to by her last name to TV 2.
She got a quick answer.
– I was very happy inside. It was a relief to see that I wasn’t alone and that people wanted to know.
– That feeling sucks
The first thing Maria thought when she saw the post was that she thought Julie was brave.
– I have experienced much of the same myself, and that feeling sucks, says Maria.
LONELINESS: Maria recognized herself in the feeling of loneliness that Julie described. Photo: Private
– I am the girl who has never had a group of friends, but has friends who are in groups of friends. Therefore, I can quickly feel the feeling of loneliness when I see that they are out together, explains Maria.
She replied to Julie’s mail and it ended with a coffee date shortly afterwards.
Vulnerable age
Psychologist Bjarne Øverland believes it is only natural that young people also feel lonely.
– Then you are at a vulnerable age to feel outside of groups that you would like to be a part of. It is also clearer today when you are outside, because you can hardly avoid noticing that others are gathering.
According to one analysis from Statistisk Sentralbyrå from 2021, several surveys indicate a long-term increase in the prevalence of loneliness among Norwegian youth.
According to Øverland, the increasing degree of loneliness among young people can also be because young people meet less physically, they have more activities that take place indoors and alone.
Emilie (19) had a tough time – then came the rescue, see video:
– Just as harmful as smoking
When asked what loneliness can lead to, the psychologist is clear about one thing.
– It is very important to remember that loneliness is a basic human feeling that communicates that there is a social need that you have not met. It is not possible to be human without having experienced loneliness. It is not a dangerous feeling in itself.
Loneliness over time, on the other hand, can have greater consequences.
EXPERT: Bjarne Øverland is a psychologist. Photo: psyklogkontakten.no
– It can go beyond physical health. Among other things, some studies show that loneliness is high on the list of causes of early death. Certain studies show that loneliness over a long period of time can be as harmful to health as smoking, he says.
You can do this
The psychologist believes that you don’t always need to do something about the feeling of loneliness, sometimes it can be good to just accept it.
If it persists, you can use it as a signal, and motivate yourself to make contact with others or seek out an arena to build new relationships, he believes.
– You can join a voluntary organisation, an activity or go to that party you might have wanted to pass up. If you are afraid of social situations, it might be a good idea to start training in social settings at some level. Then you can assess whether it is something you can do yourself, or whether you need help from someone you know or a professional.
Less alone
Julie was a little nervous before the meeting.
– But I thought I just had to get into it, and it actually went very well, says Julie.
– It went great. I felt that the conversation went well and that it was very natural, says Maria to TV 2, who has spoken to them separately.
Julie has now met several people she got in touch with after she posted the post on Facebook. She recommends taking the contact from social media to face to face before the contact fades away.
Now she doesn’t feel so alone anymore.
More to meet
Maria finds Julie inspiring.
– She did not give up and tried to do something about the situation. It is tough.
Now there are several girls in the same situation and from the same area in a Snapchat group. They plan to come up with an activity together soon.
– I think it’s a bit scary to think that there are many people who sit alone and don’t have many friends, says Julie.
When asked if she would recommend others to do the same as her, the answer is clear.
– Yes!
Elly (18) lived her dream on exchange – then everything turned around, see video:
