SOS Children’s Villages worldwide
Munich (ots)
When a couple becomes parents, the tasks increase. A new person needs to be included and cared for. Even today in many families in Germany it is the mother who takes on the majority of these tasks. She takes care of the needs of the children, has a lot of responsibility and plans the everyday life. This can lead to mental stress, also known as “mental load”. In this guide from the SOS Children’s Villages, you can find out how to prevent this from happening in the first place.
1. Know what you’re doing
It is the never-ending to-do list in the head that is often overwhelming and stressful, and can also lead to conflict and frustration in the couple relationship. Many mothers have no idea what they are doing. Therefore, the first important step is to become aware of all the everyday tasks. Write down every to-do that comes to mind throughout the day. You’ll find out: That’s quite a lot!
Here is an example: If you go to the doctor with your child, this means making an appointment, having the necessary documents ready, thinking about whether or not to be vaccinated, and letting the kindergarten know to say…
2. Talk to your partner
If you don’t have to do these to-dos yourself, you don’t necessarily see what the other person is doing. Therefore, do not be angry, but explain to your partner what happens in your everyday life. Talk about how you envision co-parenting. Is the division still suitable for both? Or should something change?
3. Taking responsibility instead of helping
It is not enough if the partner helps. Real change happens when people take responsibility for their activities. Conversely, this also means that you as a mother really have to let go of them.
4. Complete the shared mental load list
You can find numerous mental load lists or household lists online. Fill out a list together as a couple and distribute the tasks. Again, be careful to split jobs AND responsibilities. Couples often find that old role models are still deeply rooted in them. It is worth questioning these.
5. Set regular consultation appointments
At a fixed time every week, discuss the tasks and appointments for the next week. The concept of equal parenthood envisages a balanced distribution of gainful employment, housework, childcare, education and personal leisure time. However, the tasks do not necessarily have to be divided 50:50. More importantly, it feels fair for both of you.
6. Parental leave for fathers pays off in the long run
Studies show that fathers who have been on parental leave for more than five months are in most cases more involved in housework and care work. Because during this time they see and experience the tasks that arise in everyday family life and feel responsible. They also often bond better with their children. At the same time, the mothers learn that their children are well cared for by their father. The life satisfaction of everyone in the family increases.
*With the support of Rat auf Draht, an initiative of SOS Children’s Villages Austria
For more information please contact:
Boris Breyer
press secretary
SOS Children’s Villages worldwide
Phone: 0160 – 984 723 45
Email: [email protected]
www.sos-kinderdoerfer.de
Original content from: SOS Children’s Villages worldwide, transmitted by news aktuell
