Do you take care of a part of the expenses of your childrenEven if it affects your budget? Do you run to solve all their problems? you lend money all the time, even though you know that he wastes his money on unnecessary purchases? Does he insistently ask you for money, humiliating you and telling yourself that you don’t want it and end up giving in to avoid a bigger problem?
LOOK: Melcochita appears in Andrea’s premiere program: Comedian asks for the release of his imprisoned grandson
If your answers are affirmative, let me tell you that you are doing very wrong and that it is necessary to establish limits with that child to avoid a climate of dependency.
It is understandable to lend a hand to a son when he is going through a bad time, but when this becomes repetitive, it must be stopped because this son, who is already a man, will think that you are obliged to help him all the time and your life. it will be a torment
LOOK: Monserrat, Melcochita’s wife, asks for psychological help for a comedian: all because of her children’s conflict
Remember that it is not wrong to say no to their demands. That does not make you a bad father or mother, on the contrary, you are setting limits. Act firmly and for no reason give in to emotional blackmail.
“Problem adult children are often manipulative masters of their frustrated and desperate parents. They know what painful and guilt-inducing comments to make to their vulnerable and emotionally exhausted parents, like, “Well, okay, if you’re not going to help me then I’m going to end up on the streets and die,” or, “You keep telling me to get a job.” Stop pushing me or I’ll kill myself.’ Sadly, this guilt, which in most cases is not justified, makes parents vulnerable to the manipulation of these children,” says psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, from psychologytoday.com.
Photo: Stock
The expert recommends staying calm if your child uses manipulation to get you to give in to his requests and setting time limits when helping him resolve a crisis. Encourage him to solve his problems by giving him the ability to find a way out.
If he asks you for money, you don’t have to give it to him at that moment. Take your time. You can tell him “I have to think about it (or talk about it with your father or mother) and I’ll answer you tomorrow.” “This will give you time to consider it and give you a chance to talk it over before deciding. It will also show that you have things under control and that there is a united front”, indicates the expert.
Remember that you always have the right to say “I changed my mind” about a previous promise.” Prepare to receive rejection from your child. He’ll probably reconsider later.
In the event that he does not change his attitude and continues to torment you, turn the page and let your son lead his life without you having to help him every time.
IT MAY INTEREST YOU:
