We (almost) all want to fall in love, right? And dating apps are there to help us.
In BBC Three’s new series Planet Sex, model Cara Delevingne delved into what happens to our brains when we see images of people we find attractive.
In one of the episodes, she herself came under scrutiny.
His brain was monitored as he was shown images of people he recognized, from acquaintances he found attractive to people he had long-term relationships with.
Cara’s brain functions lit up more when images of her serious past loves appeared, and the results, said Dr. Bianca Acevedo, who led her brain scan, prove that “love is a really strong drive.”
“Even when the couple’s relationship isn’t great, there’s still a strong connection — you see intense reward activity in their brains.”
“Love is basically a drug”Cara agreed.
It’s no surprise then that dating apps, a technology that helps us find love, are so popular.
In 2022, the year that pioneering Tinder celebrated 10 years of existence, 323 million people worldwide they were using that and other similar apps, according to a recent study.
And it is that they are “incredibly addictive”, according to the psychologist and cultural consultant Zoe Mallett.
“They give you the chance to meet people you might not otherwise meet,” he says, but adds that it’s not all positive things.
While they can help you find love, since there’s so much screen time involved, “they can change the way you behave when you meet people in real life,” she says.
They are based on intermittent reinforcement, something Mallett defines as the “delivery of rewards at irregular intervals.”
“Scientists link it to gambling. It’s the addictive feeling of not always winning“, details.
That’s because if you find someone you’re attracted to and choose them, nothing guarantees that the same thing will happen to that person, so when the match occurs, the reward feels bigger.
“Uncertainty makes you more invested,” he explains, noting that even if you don’t get any matches, you’ll want to “come back for more.”
How do we feel when using them?
“It’s all about dopamine levels in your brain,” says the psychologist.
Described in a University College London study as a chemical messenger that helps us feel pleasure, dopamine fills your brain when you get a match on a dating app.
“It’s the same chemical that’s released when you have sex or win something. It can make you feel relaxed and excited,” says Mallett.
“You get a happiness spike when you’re using them. But the dopamine rush is short, you’re constantly wanting to feel it again“.
“To engage the user, dating apps are designed to be exciting and fun,” he says.
Similar to how we use social media, dating service designers want you to come back again and again.
“Both point to muscle memory youyour brain, so it’s the first thing you look for when you pick up your phone. Your brain will naturally go to a place that it knows can make you feel good.”
And, just like social media, dating apps are carefully designed to “blot you out from the rest of the world.”
“They want you to have your glasses on when you use the app,” he says.
Using carefully designed colors, fonts, and language, they also focus on your emotional side.
“When you see someone you like on an app, you can start to imagine a future with them. It’s not just about their appearance, but also about the narrative they can create,” she adds.
Love?
Humans are constantly looking for validation, Mallett says, and that’s what dating apps appeal to as well.
“When you get a match on a dating app, for a brief second, all your self-doubt can disappear.”
Also, the feeling of “the unknown” keeps users hooked. “You never know who’s going to be next and that’s very exciting.”
But can this emotion turn into love?
According to a YouGov study, 16% of global consumers aged 25-34 have met their partner through a mobile app.
For the psychologist, winning that jackpot is the result of a mixture of “luck” and “effort.”
“If you spend a lot of time looking for love on a dating app, you’re more likely to actually find someone you like.
“But it’s also a matter of luck. You may not like anyone in the area you live in.”
Face to face
Social media and dating apps have also changed the way we communicate in real life, Mallett argues.
“Our reliance on technology has meant that some people find it difficult to have a face-to-face conversation,” he says.
“Now people may think they don’t need to expose themselves or get close to the people they see around if they can just go home and swipe, which is much less intimidating“.
So is it good to use them?
“Everything has good and bad parts,” Zoe considers.
“If you want to get to know your partner, they’re a great way to figure out what you may or may not want from them.
“They can also build your confidence, but I would not recommend trusting himtoIt’s like your only way to meet people“.
Plus, he says, the way we use dating apps is starting to change.
“Apps like Bumble and Thursday have started hosting in-person events, which is interesting because it takes users out of the app and into a real-life setting.”
“(The creators of) the apps are realizing that we still want to meet people in real life,” says Zoe.
But think that our obsession with them will not diminish.
“Humans naturally like things that make our lives easier.
“Dating apps give us a hand, they make our lives easier. They are a solution. It’s hard to meet people, so it’s no surprise that we like them so much“.
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