Do you want to overcome your love losses? Seek a thanatologist and he will tell you how

Thanatology is one of the ways that psychology offers to support couples facing difficulties, such as separations and divorces.

To learn more about thanatology and how it helps to overcome affective losses, The truth interviewed the Lic in Psychology Víctor Espinosa Mier y Terán, who also offers other services for patients to recover their emotional health.

What is thanatology and what is it for?

“Thanatology can be defined as the study of death and dying. Its intention is to minimize the suffering of people who have a terminal illness and also eliminate feelings of guilt, and work on the loss of family members. Now, for It is very important for me to mention that as people we have losses throughout our lives and all these losses involve mourning. Losses can be evolutionary, affective, relational, social, intrapersonal and even material”

How does it help couples overcome losses?

“Working with the couple from the point of view of thanatology is very useful and interesting since it allows people to be provided with tools that help them process, build, elaborate and live their duels; as well as solve conflicts and strengthen communication and way of relating to each other.

What does a treatment consist of?

“It is very important to highlight the importance of going to a person who is a specialist in the subject who is certified to give this type of treatment. The main goal of thanatology is to accompany the client through their grief. The way in which we express our grief is intimately related to the culture to which we belong and the way in which we have lived our lives, which is why it is essential to study the person or couple from a biopsychosocial perspective in order to understand that every loss entails a gain”.

What techniques are followed?

“During the treatment, different therapeutic techniques and tools can be used, among which active listening, therapeutic dialogue, questioning, exploration, body techniques, progressive relaxation techniques and somatic techniques stand out.”

How should a loss be assimilated?

“You can never be the same again after a loss and that is not a bad thing, they say that growing up is knowing that everything changes. Every loss we suffer invites us to elaborate and work on all the losses we have had. The main thing is to understand that grief is not a disease and that it is actually a natural adaptive process in the face of the loss of a significant person, object or event.
There is no correct way to assimilate a loss since each loss is different and each one of us is unique and unrepeatable beings. It is not about overcoming grief, it is about learning to live it and I consider that going to therapy is a very powerful tool to be accompanied on this path”.

When was thanatology born and is it a specialty?

“In 1901, Elie Metchnikoff (he won the Nobel Prize for Medicine in 1908) created the term thanatology, calling it the science in charge of death. At that time, thanatology was considered a branch of forensic medicine that dealt with it and with everything related to corpses, from the legal medical point of view.Subsequently, the studies evolved to become what it is today, where we can find that there are already bachelor’s, diploma and master’s degrees in thanatology.

After therapy, how does life change?

“To answer this question, I would like to paraphrase my favorite author Haruki Murakami: And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it, how you survived. You won’t even be sure if the storm is really over. But one thing is for sure. When you come out of that storm, you’re not going to be the same person who got into it. That’s what this storm is about.”

Finally, the specialist said that psychotherapy is an extremely powerful tool that provides us with a safe space to express our emotions and feelings and where we are given the opportunity to get to know ourselves better in order to exploit our potential as human beings, finding the meaning of our life, remembering that there is always a why.