With the shakira song, the theme of the infidelity it is more and more on the table and does not always provoke the same reactions in people. It is known that after a love break, and even more so if a third party is involved, a period of mourning begins that goes through several phases: Phase 1: Impact or Shock Phase 2: Denial Phase 3: Deep sadness Phase 4: Guilt · Phase 5: Anger · Phase 6: Acceptance · Phase 7: Learning.
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In the case of the Colombian singer, it is not difficult to guess that she has been stuck in the 5th phase, rage. And it is not surprising, since there are many people who get stuck in it. According to the sexologist, Mariona Gabarra, people who, after a year, cannot get out of that phase would need to go to therapy to be able to take the next step and rebuild their lives. And in the case of a public figure, the recovery is even worse, since it can be slowed down by the constant news about his personal story in the press, this news causes setbacks and leads back to phases that could have already been overcome.
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Mariona Gabarra, sexual adviser for Gleeden – the leading platform for extramarital encounters designed by and for women – affirms that “At the first moment there is usually a reaction of revenge or anger rather than forgiveness.”
Fun facts
According to data from Gleeden56% of infidels are sure that their partner would react fatally and would never forgive an infidelity. Of these, 84% are men (who believe that their female partner would not forgive them) and 16% are women.
Nevertheless, 16% of these infidels, mostly male, affirm that they would never forgive if they were unfaithful. Although half of them and they could understand it, but it would not sit well with him.
To forgive or not to forgive?
However, not all infidelity leads to a breakup, the other side of the coin is when people forgive an infidelity and decide to give themselves another chance, but to get there they must also go through a process.
“forgive one infidelity It is much more common than we think, it is very difficult to leave a relationship and deep down, we can come to understand that monogamy is complicated, that anyone can be weak and, at a given moment, commit infidelity”indicates the professional.
But sorry youhas an underlying problem: “the person who forgives is breaking a limit, which automatically positions them below their partner and makes it likely that this attitude will be repeated again.highlights Gabarra.
For this reason, the only way to continue as a couple, after forgiving an infidelity, is “Establishing new limits or expanding existing ones, either by opening the relationship to other people or by warning that this limit is unbreakable and that the next time it is exceeded again, the relationship ends because in fact One of the biggest mistakes in couples is not setting limits”Gabarra concludes.
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